How to spot a Fuck Boy from a mile away…

Based on a true story.

Earth to Gemma!’’ Zach said, waving his hand in front of my face, abruptly snapping me out of my daydream. My attention was brought back to the room where I saw my friends staring at me, patiently waiting for me to take my turn.  
            ‘Sorry guys,’ I mumbled, shuffling through my cards and putting down a reverse, ‘my mind was elsewhere.’
            ‘Ah, yeah, we gathered that. You’ve been off with the fairies all afternoon,’ Zach laughed.  
            ‘And who exactly is it that has done such a good job at capturing your attention so well that you can’t even get through one game of UNO without completely zoning out?’ Georgia asked, narrowing her eyes at me. There was no point in denying that it was a boy. Georgia and I had been friends since high school and sometimes I was convinced she knew me better than I knew myself.
            ‘The guy I hung out with last night hasn’t messaged me all day,’ I confessed with a heavy sigh. She gasped, throwing her cards onto the table.
            ‘Oh my god! You slept with him, didn’t you?!’
            ‘No, I didn’t!’ I denied, though the way that my voice cracked on the last word gave me away.
            ‘I don’t believe you,’ she said, eyeing me suspiciously and it was in that moment that I knew there was no way of getting out of this other than telling the three of them the truth. I blew out a long breath, feeling every ounce of the shame that had been eating away at my stomach since last night.
            ‘Fine. He invited me to his house so he could cook me dinner and then somehow, we ended up in his room and one thing led to another-’
            ‘Gemma! I thought we agreed, no more going to a guy’s house within the first two months of meeting them?!’ Georgia cut me off.
            ‘I know, I know, but I swear, he seemed different than the others.’
            ‘You do know you say that every time, right?’ Marcus smirked at me from across the table.
            ‘I do not!’ I shouted back at him.
            ‘Yes, you do,’ all three of them said simultaneously, which threw them into a fit of laughter.  
            ‘Ugh,’ I groaned, hanging my head in my hands, ‘I’m so stupid.’
            ‘No, you’re not,’ Zach said, putting an arm around my shoulders, ‘you just have no radar for fuckboys.’
            ‘He seemed so nice though, how was I supposed to know all he wanted was to sleep with me?’
I watched as Georgia’s face softened and knew that meant she had decided to forgo her usual tough-love for a gentler approach.  
            ‘Rule number one for spotting a fuck boy from a mile away Gem, she began, ‘if he invites you to his house within the first few weeks of getting to know you, I guarantee all he wants from you is sex.’
            ‘But he told me he wanted to cook me dinner and made it seem like he wanted to do something nice for me...’ I said in a weak attempt to defend myself.  
            ‘Yeah of course he did, guys like that are super manipulative and have a multitude of tactics to get you to come over.’
            ‘Like that guy who cancelled our dinner date and invited me over to watch a movie instead because he’d ‘sprained his ankle playing footy and couldn’t drive?’’ I said, finally catching on.
            ‘Exactly,’ she nodded her head in confirmation. ‘A mature man who is genuinely interested in you will take you out on proper dates so that he can get to know you outside of the bedroom.’
            ‘Mature men are very respectful, very mindful,’ Marcus chimed in, making us all laugh.
            ‘Okay, so it doesn’t matter what story a guy tells me, if he tries to get me to come to his house within the first few months, he’s a fuckboy.’
            ‘Correct,’ Georgia smiled.
            ‘Rule number two,’ Zach announced, ‘if you don’t hear from him all day, especially after having sex with him,’ he gave me a pointed look, ‘he’s not genuinely interested in you. If he takes a whole day or longer to reply to you, he’s not genuinely interested in you. And if he’s leaving you on read or ghosting you for days at a time, he is not genuinely interested in you and he’s talking to other girls.’
            ‘That was harsh,’ I muttered, recoiling at his words.
            ‘Maybe it’s harsh, but it’s the truth,’ he shrugged, offering me a sympathetic smile.
            ‘And rule number three,’ Marcus stated, ‘any man who is not making you feel like you are a top priority in his life does not have your best interests at heart.’
            ‘So, what Zach just said?’ I clarified.  
            ‘That’s one element of it,’ Marcus nodded,’ but it goes a lot deeper than that.’
            ‘Okay, go on,’ I urged him.
            ‘Taking you on proper dates and communicating with you in a healthy way is one thing, but being thoughtful and attentive to your needs and making you feel special and seen is another altogether. If a man is truly into you Gem, he will do whatever is required to keep you in his life and you will never feel like you’re asking too much or that you are hard to love.’
Marcus’s words struck a chord somewhere deep within me and I had no control over the stream of tears that began to flow down my cheeks.
            ‘Oh, honey,’ he sighed and a moment later, I felt the weight of my friends as they wrapped me in their arms. I have no idea how long we sat there like that on Georgia’s living room floor, but by the time we got up we were all stiff and the last of my tears had dried.  

Later that night, I continued to hear Marcus’s words on repeat in my mind. Like a record player stuck in a loop, they provided a background track my whole drive home, as I cooked and ate dinner and while I showered and blow dried my hair. ‘If a man is truly into you Gem, you will never feel like you’re asking too much or that you are hard to love.’ I knew the reason his words had hit me so deeply was because that was precisely my fear. On some subconscious level, I believed that I was hard to love and that I was asking for too much. And so, I accepted less than what I deserved, all because the little girl within me was so desperate to feel seen and cherished and loved, and acknowledging that fact was enough for it to finally occur to me what the very first step I needed to take to stop attracting fuck boys into my life and heal my deep-rooted father wound was. Raise. My. Standards. And so, in that very moment, I made the decision then and there that I would never allow a fuck boy to manipulate me, take advantage of me or play his tricks on me ever again.
As I crawled into bed a few hours later and went to set my alarm for work the next morning, the text message I had been waiting for all day suddenly appeared on my phone;
            ‘Hey you, hope you had a good day. Last night was fun, let’s do it again soon ;)’

Instead of feeling happy and relieved to finally hear from him, my stomach turned sour and I didn’t hesitate for even a moment before deleting our conversation and blocking his number. I switched my phone to do not disturb and felt a deep sense of peace that I hadn’t felt in a long time slowly settle over me. Never again, I promised to myself as I drifted off to sleep. Never again.

WHEN THE SHADOW SELF TAKES OVER

A SHORT STORY ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES OF TRYING TO RUN FROM YOUR INNER DEMONS & LOSING A LOVED ONE TO ADDICTION. 

“Unfortunately there can be no doubt that man is, on the whole, less good than he imagines himself or wants to be. Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is. At all counts, it forms an unconscious snag, thwarting our most well-meant intentions.” - Carl Yung

It was 10am when we pulled into Russell street, and though all I wished to do was run down to the riverfront and breathe in the familiar, salty air, that’s not what we were here for. To our right sat the Munna Point caravan park where we had camped for three weeks every September holidays, for 12 years straight. Our whole family had loved this place so much that mum and dad eventually decided to buy a holiday home in the same street. It was a place that had once been a source of great excitement and harboured my most treasured childhood memories. Though sadly now those memories were tainted by new ones that had been created over the last five years. Memories of hurt, disbelief and betrayal. Memories of my family being torn apart. Memories that had changed me deeply as a person and altered the course of my life. So now, instead of feeling excitement and joy for being here, I felt little more than discomfort and unease writhing around inside of me.

‘He still hasn’t replied,’ my sister said, snapping me out of my thoughts. I could hear the worry in her voice and glanced over at her. ‘Don’t stress, he’s probably still just in bed,’ she shrugged, offering me a weak smile. ‘Or maybe we’ll walk in to find him dead,’ I silently considered. A truly horrible thought to think, though a possibility, nonetheless.         
‘Let’s just go in,’ I mumbled, wishing to get the next few hours over and done with.  

The anxiety I had felt creeping in the entire drive increased with each step I took towards the unit. I hadn’t seen my father in 9 months and hadn’t spoken to him in 5. A conscious choice on my behalf to preserve my mental and emotional wellbeing after we had gotten to the point where I could no longer speak to him without it ending in a shouting match. I allowed Ellie to go in first. The older of the two of us, she had always been closer to dad and if I was being completely honest, was the only reason I was here. She didn’t bother knocking, just pushed the door open, calling out ‘hey dad, it’s just us,’ as she stepped over the threshold.
         ‘I’m in the shower...be up in a minute,’ he replied, his voice frail and hardly audible even though we stood not even ten feet away from him.
         ‘Okay, take your time,’ Ellie called back.      
As we reached the second landing, the first things I noticed were the rows of empty liquor bottles lined up on the kitchen shelf, the broken lamp leaning precariously against the wall, and the inch-thick layer of dust that had settled over everything. Next was the blood stains in the carpet where he had fallen several weeks ago, a fan that lay on the floor in pieces - forgotten or ignored? And a drooping, mouldy bouquet of flowers that sat abandoned on the dining table.
         ‘Oh dad,’ I breathed as I continued to assess the state of the unit. My stomach suddenly hollow as if I’d been punched in the gut. I heard heavy footsteps at the top of the stairs and did my best to conceal my horror before turning to greet my father, but knew that I had failed miserably. Because if I thought the unit was in a bad state, it had nothing on him.

He was thinner than I had ever seen him and deathly pale. Only a few strands of white hair remained on his head and his face had a sallow tinge to it that suggested just how unwell he truly was. He hugged Ellie first, then me, before easing himself onto the couch, his breath coming in and out in ragged gasps.
         ‘Sorry I took so long girls, I had to sit on the toilet for five minutes just to catch my breath.’ With a shaky hand, he lifted a can of pepsi to his mouth and took a swig.
         ‘You look worse than yesterday,’ Ellie assessed, ‘did you sleep at all last night?’
         ‘I got to sleep okay but woke up not long after and then I started thinking about everything and that was it... I was awake for the rest of the night...’ he trailed off, staring blankly at the tv.
         ‘Are you still passing blood?’ She asked methodically, gathering the information she needed to relay to the doctors.
         ‘Not last night, but I did this morning,’ dad answered.
         ‘Okay, well do you want to go to the hospital now or would you like to rest for a bit longer?’
         ‘I think I’ll rest a bit longer if that’s okay.’
         ‘Yeah of course dad, that’s fine. I’ll start getting your things together.’ Ellie began moving around the unit, gathering bits and pieces and putting them into an old shopping bag. ‘What do you think you’ll need if they want to keep you in overnight?’

Twenty minutes later, after they had left for the hospital and I was alone, I walked upstairs to the main bedroom. Sinking down onto the edge of the mattress, I put my head in my hands and finally allowed everything I’d been keeping at bay to wash over me. Tears streamed down my face as I considered the sad, lonely life he was living and grieved for the man I had known that no longer existed, except for in fleeting moments of sobriety between drinks.
        

I continued to cry as I emptied the fridge and scrubbed the shelving clean. As I bleached the showers and dusted cobwebs from the windowsills. And as I sponged the cupboard doors and threw garbage bag after garbage bag of rotten food away. His words replayed over and over in my mind while I cleaned. ‘And then I started thinking about everything and that was it... I was awake for the rest of the night.’ And I knew that to the average person that might seem like a pretty normal statement. A lot of people had trouble quieting their mind, especially at night as they finally slowed down for the first time all day and lay in their beds. But not being one of those people myself because I had dedicated my life to self-development and the pursuit of becoming the best version of myself for the past six years, allowed me to see that that right there was the reason behind all of this. It was the reason why he was depressed. Why he was an alcoholic. Why he was sabotaging his health so thoroughly. Why he had ruined his 30-year marriage with my mum and abandoned his family. And why he had essentially given up on life. The simple fact was that my father could not stand to be alone with his thoughts, and that was precisely the cause of his demise.

He had never had the courage to face his inner demons or become acquainted with his shadow self*. Had never worked through his trauma or wounding or generational curses. And so naturally, after years of ignoring everything that existed within his subconscious mind, his thoughts had begun to haunt him, and his only defence had been to try and supress them by taking anti-depressants and drink until he was numb. Instead of putting up a fight, he tried to hide, but you cannot hide or run away from your shadows, because they are a part of you. And so eventually, he grew so weak that his inner demons were able to take over and he allowed them to win. And now as a result, his shadow-self* was controlling him and ruining his life.
        

After several hours, Ellie returned to the unit with a boot load of groceries so that dad wouldn’t come home to an empty fridge when he was discharged, and we finished what we could in the kitchen. It felt like we had barely scratched the surface, but it was a start. And while both of us knew he probably wouldn’t even notice what we had done and if anything, would more likely be angry at what we had thrown away, it didn’t matter. It was one of the only ways we could help him these days.

When we began the two-hour drive back home to Brisbane, filthy and exhausted, I sat in quiet contemplation, reflecting on the last six years and everything that we had been through as a result of the choices our father had made. I can speak from experience when I say that watching a loved one, especially a parent, fall into the clutches of depression and addiction is one of the most heart wrenching things a person can go through as the pain of watching someone you love disappear before your very eyes and turn into a stranger is like no other. The worst part is that most of the time, they have no desire to be helped. But one of the most important things I had come to understand over the years was that experiencing this sort of thing will cause you to go in one of two ways; follow in their footsteps or recognise the pattern and choose to break the cycle.
        

And in that moment I felt so grateful that I had chosen to go down a different path than my father had, and could recognise that for as much pain and heartache he had caused me over the years, he had also, unknowingly, offered me several gifts. He had brought me closer to my mother and sister, he had driven me to go deeper into myself and my journey of growth, and he had helped to lead me to my purpose.

And this is why I am so passionate about sharing my knowledge on self-development and spirituality, teaching people how to do shadow work and educating people about masculine and feminine embodiment.

Because I have witnessed first-hand, the utter destruction and devastation that a man who never did the inner work to move out of his wounded + immature masculine energy can cause. And what not confronting your demons nor bringing your shadows into the light can do to a person, and if I can help just one person defeat their own darkness and not go through the same things I have had to, then perhaps it has all been worth it.

Trusting & surrendering to the process of life, always. Gem x

*Shadow self; another word for ‘inner demons,’ the shadow self is one’s ‘dark side’ made up of the unconscious aspects of ourselves that we have deemed unacceptable, unlikeable and inappropriate. and have therefore done our best to ignore, supress, and hide from the world. If the shadow self is not accepted and reintegrated into the psyche, it will control you on a subconscious level and wreak havoc in your life.

“Unfortunately there can be no doubt that man is, on the whole, less good than he imagines himself or wants to be. Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is. At all counts, it forms an unconscious snag, thwarting our most well-meant intentions.” Carl Yung

THE FOUR PHASES (& INNER SEASONS) OF THE FEMININE CYCLE

‘What is wrong with me?’  I wondered aloud, tears streaming down my face and soaking into my pillow. ‘This is not normal, I must be depressed. Maybe I should go see someone...’

It was 3pm, and despite having written out a list as long as my arm of things I had wanted to achieve that day, all I’d done was lie in my bed, take multiple naps and spend hours doom scrolling. The only time I’d left my room was to eat and no matter how many times I’d tried, I simply could not muster the energy to get myself out of bed.

I was disappointed in myself for wasting the whole day and confused, because I didn’t understand why only yesterday I had been clear headed, motivated and easily able to work on my projects, but today I felt foggy, doubtful of myself and my path and barely had the mental or physical energy to leave my bed.

Why had I felt so happy and grateful for my life two days ago, but now suddenly everything felt horrible and I could barely stand to be in my own skin?

Why had it been so easy to get to the gym, complete all of my workouts and eat healthy last week, but now it was physically impossible to lift the same weights and stick to my diet plan because my cravings and appetite were out of control?

Why had I been so excited to be social and see my friends last week, but now all I wanted was to cancel all of my plans and stay at home by myself?

After experiencing these same erratic mood swings and fluctuating energy levels over and over I began to convince myself that perhaps I might have an undiagnosed mental health condition... because why else would I feel happy, optimistic and certain of my path in life one day, and then completely miserable, hopeless and lost the next? It just didn’t make sense. How could things change so radically from one day to another?

Every time I began to consider if it was time to book myself an appointment with a doctor or a therapist however, my period would arrive. ‘So that’s why I’ve been feeling so horrible,’ I would sigh with relief. ‘It was just PMS.’

Unfortunately, I continued to remain ignorant of my menstrual cycle for the duration of my twenties, which led me to continue this exact same pattern each month; experiencing a radical change in my energy levels, mood and outlook on life - convincing myself that I had mental health issues - and then realising it was just PMS as soon as my bleed started. But finally at the age of 29, I decided to educate myself on the female cycle and started tracking my period. It was only then that I was able to let go of the fear that I was losing my mind and truly began to understand myself as a woman, breaking the cycle of frustration and confusion I had been trapped in for the past 15 years.

It is now my mission to share what I have learnt and educate other women on the feminine cycle, so that they too, can understand themselves more fully, embody more of their divine feminine energy and reclaim their power.   

THE FOUR PHASES OF THE FEMININE CYCLE

Up until a few years ago I believed that the term ‘menstrual cycle’ only referred to the days that a woman bleeds. What I have since come to learn is that our menstrual cycle is not just the 3-7 days that we have our period, but rather a monthly cycle made up of four different phases that we move through every 26-32 days. These four phases are;

1. MENSTRUATION
2. FOLLICULAR
3. OVULATION
4. LUTEAL

Each phase works together in preparing the body for pregnancy and has its own specific purpose and function, which are responsible for causing the physical, emotional and energetic changes we experience every month.

So what happens physically during each phase?

Phase 1 Menstruation: during the menstruation phase, if a woman has not fallen pregnant, the uterus begins to shed its lining and women experience their bleed.

Phase 2 Follicular: during the follicular phase the pituitary gland releases FSH, a follicle stimulating hormone that is sent to stimulate the growth of eggs in the ovaries. The body prepares to release an egg.

Phase 3 Ovulation: during this phase an egg is released from the ovaries into the fallopian tube where it waits to be fertilised by sperm.

Phase 4 Luteal: during this phase the body prepares the uterus for pregnancy creating a thick lining so that a fertilized egg can implant itself in the uterus, if fertilization does not occur – the body sheds this lining, resulting in a woman getting her period, and starting the cycle over again.  

Like most women, I had been taught this information at school and as an adult had read about what happens within our bodies during each phase of the menstruation cycle many times, however it wasn’t until I made a connection between the four phases of the feminine cycle with the four seasons of mother nature, that I truly began to understand myself and my body.

UNDERSTANDING YOUR INNER SEASONS AS A FEMININE BEING

Viewing the four phases of the menstrual cycle in correlation with the four seasons of nature allows us to comprehend what is happening within ourselves beyond just the physical changes we experience each month. Each phase holds a different energy, calling for us to think, behave and move in different ways. By working with your cycle instead of against it, you will learn how to honour yourself in each phase and flow with your inner seasons effortlessly.  

VIEWING THE 4 PHASES OF THE FEMININE CYCLE AS THE FOUR SEASONS OF NATURE 
Menstruation = Winter
Follicular = Spring
Ovulation = Summer
Luteal = Autumn

PHASE: MENSTRUATION
SEASON: WINTER
THEME: HIBERNATION = REST + REFLECT + RELEASE
ENERGY + HORMONES: are at their lowest so expect to feel = tired, fatigued, extra sensitive, highly emotional, low mood.

GOOD TIME TO:
+ Reflect & go inwards
+ Spend time alone & practice self love
+ Plan & organise the month ahead
+  Yoga, Pilates & walks in nature

REFRAIN FROM:
+ Social outings
+ Making big/important decisions
+ Putting pressure on yourself to be productive or get things done
+ Heavy / intense workouts

*PEACE * QUIET * SLOW DOWN * SHED * LET GO  * RECHARGE * SPACE * ALONE TIME * WISDOM * SENSITIVITY *

PHASE: FOLLICULAR
SEASON: SPRING
THEME: REBIRTH + FRESH START + NEW BEGINNING
ENERGY + HORMONES: are on the rise so expect to feel = energised, renewed, curious & optimistic

GOOD TIME TO:
+ Start a new project
+ Learn + read + research
+ Try something new
+ Endurance / resistance training / hikes

REFRAIN FROM:
+ Getting stuck in planning/procrastination mode, make the most of your energised state & take action
+ Making impulsive decisions as a result of your optimistic & excited energy

* FOCUSED * ENERGISED * PRODUCTIVE * HAPPY * CURIOUS * RENENWED * OPTIMISTIC *


PHASE: OVULATION
SEASON: SUMMER
THEME: CONFIDENCE + EXPRESSION 
ENERGY + HORMONES: are at their highest so expect to feel = confident, magnetic, energised, wanting to be seen by the world & flirty because sexual energy is peaking

GOOD TIME TO:
+ Be social & nurture your relationships
+ Take big action towards your goals
+ Get your hardest/most unappealing tasks of the month done
+ Heavy weight training / HIIT / long hikes

REFRAIN FROM:
+ Allowing high libido to lead you to make impulsive (& potentially unaligned) choices
+ Socialising/dating for the sake of it
+ Serving & pouring into people who may not deserve your energy

* EXPRESSIVE * CONFIDENT * PLAYFUL * FLIRTY * CREATIVE * POTENT

PHASE: LUTEAL
SEASON: AUTUMN
THEME: GO INARDS + MORE REST + LESS STRESS
ENERGY + HORMONES: are dropping so expect to feel = low, irritable, cranky, anxious, depressed – this is when the feminine experiences most of her PMS

GOOD TIME TO:
+ Isolate, nurture yourself deeply & practice self care
+  Prepare for hibernation & clean/clear out your space
+ Work on projects in silence ; edit & review rather than working on something new
+ Ease back in the gym /replace one or two of your weighted workouts with Pilates or yoga

REFRAIN FROM:
+ Committing to social outings
+ Offering yourself / services to others
+ Spending too much time on social media
+ Pushing yourself to perform as usual

* LOWER ENERGY * MORE SPACE * MOODY * LESS ACTIVE * MORE REST* ALONE TIME * LESS FOCUS / CONCENTRATION* ALCHEMY * THE SURRENDER BEFORE THE BIG RELEASE (MENSTRUATION) *

As women, we have been encouraged to neglect our cyclical nature, but by learning about our cycles, reconnecting to our wombs and aligning our diets, exercise and lifestyles with our inner seasons, we are able to regain access to our inner wisdom and take back our power, and flow through life with so much more ease and grace. Becoming acquainted with my cycle and living in accordance with my inner seasons has completely transformed my relationship with myself and the way I move through the world, and it is my only hope that this information can help to change your life too.

Trusting and surrendering to the process of life, always. Gem x

Dark Feminine Energy - Reclaiming your inner Warrior

‘You’ll be happy to know that after three years, I’m finally making my return to the gym tonight,’ my manager announced from beside me as I clocked out of work for the day. ‘Say your goodbyes to the dad bod.’ He patted his stomach and looked at me with a grin. 
 ‘Nice, you can tell me how it goes tomorrow,’ I replied. In truth, I had no real interest in what my manager did outside of work, but it was only my third week at this job and I was trying my best to be polite and stay on his good side. 
‘I’ll let you feel how it goes tomorrow,’ he said, his voice dripping with innuendo. I whipped my head up from the computer screen to look at him. 
 ‘What?’ I half gasped, half laughed to hide my shock. 
 ‘That was bad, I shouldn’t have said that,’ he chuckled and clapped me lightly on the back, ‘but you know I was only joking, don’t you?’ 
Don’t touch me, I thought as I hastily logged out of the computer and threw my bag over my shoulder.
 ‘Sure,’ was my reply. 
 ‘See ya Gem, have a good night!’ he called after me as I walked out of the restaurant. I ignored him, pretending to be busy looking at something on my phone while I walked to my car.

It wasn’t the first time he had said something inappropriate to me at work. In fact, his offhand comments and distasteful jokes were fast becoming a daily occurrence. I tried to convince myself that he might notice my discomfort and go back to maintaining a professional relationship with me, but unfortunately, things only became worse.

‘You need to say something!’ My best friend urged me after I had told her about his behaviour towards me a few weeks later. ‘You can’t let him get away with that.’ 
 ‘I know, I want to, but he’s my boss. What if he gets mad and makes work hell for me? Or worse, cuts my shifts?’ 
 ‘Well sure, that is a possibility, but you can’t just let him say these things to you and laugh it off like it’s okay. He’s being inappropriate and making you uncomfortable and he needs to know that he can’t do that. I would never let a man speak to me that way!’
 ‘I know you wouldn’t,’ I sighed wishing I had more resilience or guts or whatever it was that Laura had that gave her the ability to stand up for herself so easily. ‘I just feel like if I say something it will make things really awkward.’ 
 ‘Again, a possibility,’ she shrugged, ‘but isn’t the alternative worse?’ 
 I groaned, rubbing my temples because this conversation was giving me a headache. If I felt this uncomfortable at the mere thought of saying something next time he made an inappropriate comment, how was I ever going to actually find the guts to do it? 
 ‘I know it makes you uncomfortable Gem, but I really think this is something you need to do for yourself. And if not for yourself, then at least do it for the other girls you work with that are younger than you,’ she smiled and gave my hand a gentle squeeze before leaving me at the dinner table to contemplate what I knew I had to do.

A few weeks and many more inappropriate comments later, my manager ended up being fired for sexual harassment, but instead of feeling relieved, I somehow felt even more on edge. Because despite the fact that his behaviour had become even worse since my conversation with Laura, I never ended up having the courage to say anything directly to his face, but rather confided in a co-worker who then informed the owner of the restaurant, who immediately confronted him on my behalf and terminated his contract.

The day after he was fired, I spent the whole day paranoid that he was going to turn up at work and confront me. I had already blocked his number and social media days beforehand, but was terrified to check my phone in case he somehow found another way to contact me. That night as I lay in bed, memories of every other time I had been disrespected or been taken advantage of by a man flooded into my consciousness and I truly realised just how helpless, weak and utterly powerless to defend myself I had always been, and frighteningly, still was.

But being sexually harassed by my manager was the canon event I needed to finally wake me up to the fact that I didn’t want to remain that way any longer. That I didn’t want to continue living my life with no backbone and no ability to stand up for myself.

And that realisation caused something to change within me. Coaxed a part of me that had long been asleep to begin to stir and eventually, awaken….

My Dark Feminine Energy.

The aspect of myself that I had been unknowingly repressing my whole life. The part of me that knew exactly how to guard, defend and protect. My inner warrior.

And thus, the reintegration of my dark feminine energy began.

So what exactly is dark feminine energy?

While the light feminine can be characterised by her soft, sweet, gentle, compassionate, nurturing, surrendered, unconditionally loving presence — the dark feminine is characterised by her confident, expressive, assertive, magnetic and extremely potent and powerful nature.

You can think of the light feminine as the mother, the maiden and the queen archetypes while the dark feminine is represented by the sage, the lover, the mystic and the huntress archetypes.

The wise woman, the divine alchemist, the fierce defender. She is the one who severs the cords of unhealthy connections, willingly goes into battle to defend herself and those that she loves and sets flame to the bridges behind her as she walks away from anything that no longer serves her.

The dark feminine is the DESTRUCTOR so that the light feminine may be the CREATOR, representing the complete OBLITERATION of anything that no longer aligns in order to create space so that she may EXPAND & REGENERATE more of what is aligned.

She is powerful, assertive and direct, so that the light feminine may be submissive, surrendered and soft.

And just to make things clear; embodying your dark feminine energy does not mean being cold, hard, guarded and closed off to the masculine and to love. It does not mean being arrogant and conceited or coming across as intimidating and unapproachable. It is not being the ‘villain’ who uses her beauty or toxic psychology tricks to seduce and manipulate men. Nor is it striving to conquer the world by being a strong independent boss bitch who ‘don’t need no man’ because she can do it all for herself.

This is the dark feminine in her wounded + immature expression.

The woman who embodies her healthy + mature dark feminine energy confidently expresses herself and takes up space without being loud, showy and overbearing. She asserts her boundaries and speaks her truth without being harsh, hostile and aggressive. And she claims her desires and commands respect for herself without being bossy, controlling and forceful.

How? 
Because instead of seeking validation and approval from others, she validates and approves of herself. Instead of searching for her worth externally, she understands that she is inherently worthy and deserving of everything she desires in life. And instead of waiting for someone else to love her before she feels loved, she understands that she can only be seen, heard and held to the depths she has seen, heard and held herself first, and thus has learnt how to self-source unconditional love from the infinite well that lives inside of her and nourishes her own heart before she allows anyone else access to it.

And what I have learnt through my own journey, is that harnessing your dark feminine energy is the key to being able to tap into your inner strength so that you may uphold rock-solid boundaries with yourself and others, confidently communicate your needs and desires and speak up for yourself without guilt, embarrassment or shame.

Because embodying your dark feminine energy is the vehicle through which you are able to transform yourself from being a victim into the victor and is the very process that enabled me to transition from being a girl who was terrified of disappointing, upsetting or displeasing others, into the woman who is now no longer afraid of letting anyone, especially men, who threaten to disrespect me know that I am intensely proud of the woman I am becoming and will protect her at all costs.

‘Do not fuck with me’ my inner warrior whispers in the ear of the immature masculine the moment she senses he is about to step foot over the boundaries she so carefully constructed. Because she does not tolerate the behaviour of such men anymore. And neither do I.

Trusting & surrendering to the process of life, always. 
With love, Gem x

WHY WOMEN (with feminine cores) SHOULD QUIT MAKING THE FIRST MOVE & STOP PURSING MEN (with masculine cores)

A few years ago, I landed a job in a small café nestled within an industrial area. The café was completely surrounded by businesses owned and operated by men; car yards, BMX shops, builders’ warehouses, BBQ sheds, CrossFit gyms... and so it came as no surprise that a large portion of the customers we served on a daily basis were men, much to the delight of the other girls I worked with who, like me, were completely single at the time.

One in particular relished the fact that 80% of our customer base was men and treated every day as an opportunity to meet her future husband. She used the café as her own personal dating pool, arriving each day immaculately dressed and made up just in case the love of her life walked in. She was extremely confident and outgoing, flirting with boys behind the counter all day long and handing her number out to them like a business card. I observed her behaviour quietly for the first few months, biting my tongue every time she scribbled her phone number on the side of a customer’s coffee cup or told us about the new guy she’d messaged on Instagram that week. However, I kept my mouth shut, because I was the new girl and it was not my place to give unsolicited advice.

A few weeks in, I told the girls that one of the members of the CrossFit gym next door had caught my eye. Naturally, they urged me to give him my number.
            ‘No way,’ was my response to their suggestion.
            ‘Why not?!’ The confident one asked. ‘I saw the way you two were talking, he’s obviously interested in you!’
            ‘If he’s interested, he will ask me himself,’ I told her with a smile. She just shook her head at me like I was crazy and carried on telling us about the multiple dates she’d been asked on that week.

Over the next few months, her dating saga continued and unsurprisingly, she ended up heartbroken every few weeks. I felt like I was watching my younger self and by this point, we were close enough that I knew I could offer my two cents on the situation without her taking offence.

            ‘If I were you, I would stop giving out my number and messaging guys first,’ I said one morning after she had told me about yet another boy who had suddenly gone cold on her.   
            ‘Why?’ She asked, a deep frown set between her eyes.
            ‘Because in my experience, any time you chase a guy, they eventually end up going cold or ghosting you,’ I explained, ‘the masculine is meant to pursue the feminine, not the other way around.’
She stopped unwrapping the cabinet and rolled her eyes at me.
            ‘Gemma, it’s the 21st century, a woman can ask a man out if she wants to.’
            ‘Absolutely she can,’ I nodded, ‘but how has that been working out for you so far?’
She considered my question in silence for a moment, mentally scrolling through her dating history, before realising that I might just be right.
            ‘I’m only telling you this because I used to do the exact same things as you and all it ever led to was me getting hurt.’ I told her. ‘Take my advice, stop chasing men and let them come to you.’

Indeed, I had learnt the hard way that pursuing men was not my job as a feminine being, and that being too available to men, too eager to give them all of my love so early on and too willing to offer them my divine emotional, mental and physical self actually pushed them away, rather than pulled them in.

And it didn’t matter how attractive, intelligent and interesting I was – these men only sensed one thing from me – neediness and desperation. And it completely and utterly REPELLED them.

I could have saved myself a great deal of heartache if I had only listened years earlier to the wise words of my customer-turned-friend Rob, an older gentleman who often had something to say about the pathetic state of my love life.

 ‘Stop being the wounded gazelle lying on its back with its legs in the air Gem,’ he’d advised me. ‘Make it hard for them, make them chase you. Lions get bored of an easy kill, and so do men.’

My best friend who was with me at the time, could barely control her laughter at his horrifyingly accurate anecdote. And I knew in every fibre of my being that I was the wounded gazelle, but I didn’t know how not to be. And I didn’t figure it out for many years to come.

Several long years, many more heartbreaks and a great deal of inner work later – my journey led me to take a deep dive into masculine and feminine polarity and I began to learn about the stark differences between men and women. From the way we think and perceive life, to our core desires, motivators and needs and the different roles we play in relation to one another – I learnt that the masculine and feminine are completely different species. Suddenly, everything began to make sense.

The masculine operates from his mind, while the feminine operates from her heart.
The masculine provides the seed, while the feminine offers the soil.
The masculine represents doing, while the feminine represents being.
The masculine is the provider, while the feminine is the receiver.
The masculine pursues, while the feminine attracts.

And although we have evolved far beyond the age of the caveman – some things have not changed and to this day, the masculine is still biologically hardwired to be the hunter. It is within a masculine man’s very nature to hunt down, chase and pursue his desires and to take the necessary action to obtain that which he requires for his survival and the continuation of his bloodline, his legacy.

And today in our modern society, this quality of the masculine can be translated into the simple truth that; MATURE, CONSCIOUS MEN ALWAYS GO AFTER WHAT THEY WANT & NOTHING & NO ONE CAN STAND IN THEIR WAY.

Because it is their natural instinct to do so. They don’t have to think twice about it – when a mature masculine sees something that he wants (whether that be a woman, a career, a lifestyle, or a physique) he makes a plan and starts taking action towards that thing immediately. He doesn’t sit with the idea, he doesn’t waver, and he doesn’t procrastinate. He simply begins his hunt.

So if a man is not actively pursuing you, there are generally only two reasons;
1. He is not interested because he does not see potential in you as his future wife & mother of his children
OR
2. He is stuck in his immature masculine energy and is operating out of a wounded state and does not contain the confidence, courage or fortitude to take the necessary action required to pursue you

This is why when a woman approaches a man and he initially shows interest but then suddenly drops off the face off the planet with no explanation a few weeks later... it’s not because he ‘got busy with work’ or ‘had family stuff come up.’ It’s because he was physically attracted to her and was only ever interested in one thing - satisfying his sexual urges. Men are simple creatures and once you understand their nature, it is not difficult to decipher their intentions.

Once I understood this, I stopped using dating apps. Stopped making the first move. And stopped seeking, chasing and actively looking for romantic connection outside of myself and instead, began focusing on myself, on my growth, on my business and my family and friends and my own pleasure and worked on giving myself the love I desired and deserved internally, knowing that once I did, it would arrive in my external world.

Because my experiences have taught me that a man will find a woman who is busy living her own life, who is ambitious and happy and satisfied on her own and isn’t available to him 24/7, so much more attractive than the highly-accessible woman who is out there consciously searching for love and willing to give herself over mind, body and soul at the drop of a hat.

So if you are reading this and any part of it is resonating, here is my advice to you - put all of your energy into yourself first queen, and I promise love will find its way to you.

Trusting and surrendering to the process of life always. Gem x

REBIRTH

REBIRTH; a period of new life, growth, or activity; a revival...

You might have noticed some changes around here recently.
Little things here and there. My Instagram name...my bio...a shift in my content...

All of it reflects the inner changes I have been experiencing as a result of the work I have been doing; integrating my Dark Feminine energy. Healing my Inner Child. Confronting my Shadows. & working through my Generational Trauma.

To say that the last few months have been transformational would be an understatement.

& last Tuesday, sometime in the late afternoon, a realization struck me.

It is time to step over the threshold.

‘Might fuck around and wipe my whole Instagram feed,’ I thought to myself as I sat there, processing the realisation. 

I knew that it was my Higher Self communicating very clearly to me what needed to be done in order to close the current chapter of my life that I was still sitting in. My healing chapter. My ‘desperately trying to figure it all out’ chapter. The chapter in which I had dedicated myself wholeheartedly to ‘finding myself’ and remembering why the heck I was here on Earth. 

It was because I was still stuck in this chapter that I was experiencing so much resistance to the things I wanted most - why I was procrastinating launching my business, showing up as the woman I envisioned myself being, getting my website up and running and taking action towards the projects I wanted to deliver to the world...

And what I realised was that in order to access this next level of myself that was able to do all of that – I had to let her go.

The younger version of me.

The party girl. The irresponsible girl who had nothing to worry about but herself. The disempowered ‘good girl’. The girl who was desperate to be seen. The girl who did things for the approval of others. The girl who was stuck playing out generational curses. The girl whose only source of nourishment was sought externally. The girl who felt comfortable playing small. The girl who was operating out of survival mode. The girl who didn’t know any better. The wounded girl who was stuck in her immature feminine energy.

So the next morning I began the process of wiping the slate clean, because doing so would provide the blank canvas I required to rebirth myself from. As I scrolled through my Instagram feed tears began to well in my eyes. An overwhelming feeling of gratitude came over me as I looked at the photos of my younger self and acknowledged all that she had overcome to get me to where I am today. I didn’t realise how simultaneously elating and painful it would be. Hadn’t expected the resistance I would feel as I archived each post, hiding her from the world. But I knew that it had to be done. That it was time to say goodbye.

Because the longer I stayed connected and associated with my younger self and clung to the life raft that was my healing journey, the more resistance I would continue to feel towards stepping into my next version. Because this younger version was subconsciously convincing me that I wasn’t smart enough and didn’t know enough to be able to run a successful business so that I would continue to play small and stay in my comfort zone, in order for her to keep me ’safe.’

So once again, I stepped into the fire. Because unlike my dark feminine, my shadow and my inner child, my younger self couldn’t be integrated – she needed to be cremated. I called on the alchemical power of my Dark Feminine energy to burn her away, sending her back to the Universe with the utmost gratitude and unconditional love. And in the process, alchemized all of her pain and suffering into knowledge and wisdom.

As I sat there, looking at my empty feed...I reflected on all of the little changes that I had experienced over the past three years and had the inner knowing that this was it. This was the rise out of the ashes that I had tricked myself into thinking had happened multiple times since the start of my healing journey.

I had falsely believed many times in the past few years that I had ‘stepped into my highest self’. But I recognised in that moment that I wasn’t actually stepping into her at all...I was just experiencing moments of that future version of me, little glimpses of my fully embodied, integrated, empowered self.

So how did I know that this time it was happening for real and I wasn’t going to slide straight back into my old ways in a few days?

Because it felt different. And I was finally doing the things that I’d known I’d needed to do for a long time, but hadn’t had the courage to do.

My natural state of being had changed. I was embodying the woman I wanted to show up as majority of the time. The communication channels between me and my intuition/higher self were loud and clear. I was easily resisting the things I knew no longer served me and taking aligned action had become almost effortless. Even the way I dressed most of the time had changed.

I had naturally progressed from the immature feminine into maturity, into my womanhood. The caterpillar had transformed into the butterfly.

So allow me to re-introduce myself.

My name is Gemma.

VISIONARY – CREATIVE - GUIDE

A multi-dimensional being that is no longer committed to my healing, but rather my expansion, who is comfortable taking up space, expressing my truth and sitting in my most radiant, abundant, confident, wildly successful self.

Everything I do now is for myself – no one else. And I trust that I will magnetise all that I desire by being completely, fully 100% devoted to ME. Which, consequently, allows me to be in service to others. I do not need to be anything for anyone else. And I do not need to do anything to get what I want, other than embody my BEAUTIFUL, MAGNETIC, MAGICAL, POTENT, DIVINE FEMININE ENERGY.

What a fucking powerhouse.

Trusting in and surrendering to the process of life always, Gem xx

DARK FEMININE ENERGY & WHY I AM NO LONGER INTERESTED IN BEING A GOOD GIRL

Boundary setting is a new thing for me.

Up until a few months ago, my boundary setting skills sucked.

In fact, they were non-existent.

Why was this the case?

Because I was still playing into the role of ‘good-girl’, which was a role I had been playing my whole life.

Being a good girl looked like;

- Having 0 boundaries and letting people take advantage of / walk all over me

- Being a major people pleaser

- Putting other people’s wants + needs before my own

- Not being able to stomach the thought of annoying someone / putting them out

- Needing everyone to like me & approve of what I do

- Shrinking myself to take up less space

- Being overly agreeable

- Laughing people off (especially men) when they were rude/ misogynistic /inappropriate towards me

It was honestly so bad, that the thought of anyone being disappointed or offended by me would send me into an anxious spiral to the point where I would feel physically ILL and be hardly able to function.

And it was emotionally exhausting as well, because although I had begun to recognise that I was dishonouring myself by putting the needs & wants of others before my own, I couldn’t help but continue to prioritise pleasing other people....

Despite all the work I had done on myself, I was totally disempowered.

So what changed?

I realised that I was repressing my dark feminine energy & had been operating solely out of my light feminine my whole life...

What an absolute life changer this realisation was for me.

A quick lesson on polarity;
The law of polarity states that everything that exists in our Universe must have a polar opposite.

There can be no day without night.

No up without down.  

No light without dark.

And just like integrating your masculine and feminine energies, the light and dark feminine is the same- you must be able to access both to be a whole, healthy, balanced human.

So by repressing my dark feminine for the last 28 years, I had unconsciously been keeping myself in an unbalanced, disempowered state. Like a battery operating on 50%, I wasn’t able to access my full power.

Because that is precisely where the true power of the feminine lies – in her dark energy.

And do not mistake dark with bad. Because it is not bad.

Or evil.

Nor does it mean ‘becoming the villain’.

The Dark Feminine is the DESTRUCTOR so that the Light Feminine can be the CREATOR.

She represents the OBLITERATION of that which no longer aligns, to create space for the light feminine to EXPAND & REGENERATE more of what is aligned.

The dark feminine is powerful, magnetic and assertive so that the light feminine may be submissive, surrendered and soft.

Harnessing your dark feminine energy is the key to being able to shed and let go of what no longer serves you and fearlessly plunging into the unfamiliar to be born anew. It is embracing the unknown with full surrender and trust that life is working out in your highest favour. It is the way in which we may reconnect + feel comfortable in our bodies in order to gain access the portal to our sexual energy and thus our magnetic power. And it is the way in which we are able to tap into our inner strength to be able to uphold strong boundaries and communicate our needs + desires without guilt, embarrassment or shame.

Accessing our inner dark feminine energy is vehicle through which we may transform ourselves from being a victim, to the divine alchemist.

So why do so many of us repress our dark feminine energy?

Because society tells us to.

For many years, our patriarchal society shamed females who took up too much space & shared their opinions in a confident, clear and direct way. If they were not agreeable, sweet and polite, they were scolded. If they were not conservative or ‘well behaved’, they were criticised. If they did not smile enough or laugh at a man’s bad joke, they were reproached. The Patriarch understood and feared the incredible power of the feminine and so in an effort to ‘tame’ and domesticate women to have more control over them, they revoked all of their rights and pushed women into the ‘housewife’ role where they were expected to do nothing but stay at home, look after the children, tend to their husbands needs and abandon their dark feminine energy and inner wild woman.

The affects of this are still widely present in society today and many woman are still conditioned to live up to the ideals of what the patriarch deemed a good woman to be, while a lot of men still view women in the same way and therefore, continue to unconsciously (or for some, consciously) suppress the feminine and push her into the submissive ‘good girl’ box.

But I’ll tell you something.

I am no longer interested
in being soft, submissive & sweet
compliant, quiet and coy,
modest, mild & meek,
pleasant & pliable.
Agreeable,
cooperative,
discreet.

Not now that I have rejected the outdated ideals of the Patriarch and said goodbye to my inner good girl, renouncing my people pleasing tendencies in favour of my dark feminine energy and ultimately, reclaiming my power. The rise of the feminine is upon us and I am so glad that I get to be a part of it.

Trusting & surrendering to the process of life always.
Gem xx

WHAT THE FK IS FEMININE EMBODIMENT & WHY YOU (as a feminine being) NEED TO KNOW ABOUT IT

When I first began delving into feminine energy I kept coming across this term Feminine Embodiment. And for the longest time, I had no idea what it meant despite hours and hours of research and reading and filling up page after page of my notebook with notes on this subject. But no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t seem to grasp the concept.

And what I have come to learn is that this is because FEMININE ENERGY is not something to be understood by the mind, but something to be experienced, by the body, and by the soul.

It has taken me just over a year to finally grasp what embodiment truly is and why it is so incredibly important for feminine beings to be embodied. So, what is it?  

Feminine Embodiment is the act of coming home to yourself.

It is the deep connection feminine beings have to our bodies and not just our bodies, but everything we contain within them; our heart centre, our internal guidance system, and the incredible wisdom and information we hold in our wombs. It is the way in which we access our power.

If you take the feminine out of it, embodiment on its own = the full inhabitance & expression of self.

And if you want to observe the purest form of embodiment all you have to do is look at children, who have full access to their emotions & are able to express them with ease. When they are upset, they cry. When they are frustrated, they scream and shout. When they are happy, they giggle and smile. They openly experience + express whatever they are feeling in the moment & don’t think twice about it.

Yet as we grow older, we begin to learn how to regulate our emotions and control our emotional reactions. But here is the key - there is a big difference between regulating your emotions and suppressing them and sadly, most of us are conditioned by society to behave in a certain way (eg. be a good child and sit at your desk quietly in class) in order to be ‘accepted’ and ‘fit in’ and in this way, we are encouraged to repress, reject & deny many of our emotions, which causes us to become numb + shut ourselves off to our bodily sensations. After doing this for many years, we eventually forget how to experience and express what we are feeling in a healthy way and become disconnected from the wisdom of our bodies.

So if embodiment is the free + unrestricted expression of our emotions & the full inhabitance of self, what is feminine embodiment?

All humans, regardless of gender-identity contain both masculine & feminine energy within & we live in a society that for the most part honours the masculine & discourages the feminine & therefore, a lot of us find it much easier (& safer) to embody our masculine energy.

The masculine is characterised by; logical & linear thinking, action taking, direct, assertive and penetrative energy. He is extremely active, achievement orientated and has the energy to hustle & grind and always be on the go.

While feminine energy is all about; flowing, dreaming, feeling, emotional sensitivity & rest. She is not designed to be doing or on the go all the time, but rather feels her best when she is simply being, creating and sitting in her loving, nurturing energy.

So therefore, feminine embodiment is embodying the nature of the feminine more fully – the feeling, flowing, magnetic & creative parts of ourselves. It is also being able to harness the incredible power of feminine energy by being deeply connected to our intuition + emotions.

Signs you are disembodied;
- You feel uncomfortable in your body
- You seek advice & answers outside of yourself
- You feel disconnected from yourself , source, your purpose, other people
- You feel stuck in life & are constantly confused about which path to take
- You are chaotic, flighty & constantly changing your mind about anything & everything
- You have a long term vision for the future but struggle to move forward & often feel like your moving in circles
- You experience Imposter Syndrome
- You have all the ideas but aren’t able to actualise any of them/see them through to completion
- You feels like you need to get out into the world and take massive action to get what you wants
- You feel disconnected from your sexual energy
- You have difficulty expressing yourself confidently & shrink yourself to fit in
- You are attached to the outcome of your life & are unable to let go & surrender

The Embodied Feminine;
- Is wildly magnetic & able to attract her desires into her life with ease
- Is unapologetic, shameless & freely expresses herself
- Radiates a sense of confidence, self respect & deep self love
- Knows who she is & what she wants out of life
- Her energy feels potent & powerful, but also grounded and calm
- She responds rather than reacts
- She self sources love
- She takes up space & confidently voices her wants, needs and desires
 - She embodies all aspects of herself
- She is deeply connected to the wisdom of her body and allows her intuition to guide her through life
- She rides her emotional waves without becoming them
- She flows effortlessly with her own cycles & the seasons of life
- She does not reject, hide or suppress any parts of herself
- She harnesses her sexual energy and uses it to her advantage

So how do you go about embodying more of your feminine energy?

+ RECLAIM ALL ASPECTS OF SELF
Do the inner work to reintegrate + reclaim all aspects of you; your inner child, shadow, inner masculine & light and dark feminine energy

+ SYNC WITH YOUR CYCLE
Learning about the female cycle and tracking your period is imperative for the feminine who wants to get back in touch with herself and flow with her inner seasons as it allows her to understand what is happening in her body at all times of the month & work with her monthly fluctuations in mood, hormones & energy levels.
 
+INHABIT YOUR BODY
Embodiment is all about inhabiting your body, but you can’t do that unless you feel comfortable in your own skin. I personally feel most comfortable when I am practicing daily self love by prioritising movement, hydration, being very mindful of what I am putting in my body & nourishing my body with unprocessed wholefoods.

+ LEARN HOW TO REST
- While the masculine is characterised by doing + taking action, the feminine is all about being + stillness. Let go of your belief that your worth is based on your productivity and your need to be ‘on’ all the time. Prioritise a few moments of stillness every day.

+ EMBRACE YOUR SENSUALITY
In our hyper-sexualised society, us women are discouraged and shamed for expressing our sexual energy, which has caused many of us to repress this aspect of ourselves. However, it is important to understand that when harnessed and used with the right intention, it can be an incredibly powerful manifesting + creative force. Reconnecting back to your eros might require sacral chakra/womb healing.

+ FEMININE EMBODIMENT PRACTICES
The following practices are useful to help get you out of our head (masculine) & back into your body (feminine)
- Mirror work
- Dancing + Ecstatic movement
- Self Pleasure