DARK FEMININE ENERGY & WHY I AM NO LONGER INTERESTED IN BEING A GOOD GIRL
Boundary setting is a new thing for me.
Up until a few months ago, my boundary setting skills sucked.
In fact, they were non-existent.
Why was this the case?
Because I was still playing into the role of ‘good-girl’, which was a role I had been playing my whole life.
Being a good girl looked like;
- Having 0 boundaries and letting people take advantage of / walk all over me
- Being a major people pleaser
- Putting other people’s wants + needs before my own
- Not being able to stomach the thought of annoying someone / putting them out
- Needing everyone to like me & approve of what I do
- Shrinking myself to take up less space
- Being overly agreeable
- Laughing people off (especially men) when they were rude/ misogynistic /inappropriate towards me
It was honestly so bad, that the thought of anyone being disappointed or offended by me would send me into an anxious spiral to the point where I would feel physically ILL and be hardly able to function.
And it was emotionally exhausting as well, because although I had begun to recognise that I was dishonouring myself by putting the needs & wants of others before my own, I couldn’t help but continue to prioritise pleasing other people....
Despite all the work I had done on myself, I was totally disempowered.
So what changed?
I realised that I was repressing my dark feminine energy & had been operating solely out of my light feminine my whole life...
What an absolute life changer this realisation was for me.
A quick lesson on polarity;
The law of polarity states that everything that exists in our Universe must have a polar opposite.
There can be no day without night.
No up without down.
No light without dark.
And just like integrating your masculine and feminine energies, the light and dark feminine is the same- you must be able to access both to be a whole, healthy, balanced human.
So by repressing my dark feminine for the last 28 years, I had unconsciously been keeping myself in an unbalanced, disempowered state. Like a battery operating on 50%, I wasn’t able to access my full power.
Because that is precisely where the true power of the feminine lies – in her dark energy.
And do not mistake dark with bad. Because it is not bad.
Or evil.
Nor does it mean ‘becoming the villain’.
The Dark Feminine is the DESTRUCTOR so that the Light Feminine can be the CREATOR.
She represents the OBLITERATION of that which no longer aligns, to create space for the light feminine to EXPAND & REGENERATE more of what is aligned.
The dark feminine is powerful, magnetic and assertive so that the light feminine may be submissive, surrendered and soft.
Harnessing your dark feminine energy is the key to being able to shed and let go of what no longer serves you and fearlessly plunging into the unfamiliar to be born anew. It is embracing the unknown with full surrender and trust that life is working out in your highest favour. It is the way in which we may reconnect + feel comfortable in our bodies in order to gain access the portal to our sexual energy and thus our magnetic power. And it is the way in which we are able to tap into our inner strength to be able to uphold strong boundaries and communicate our needs + desires without guilt, embarrassment or shame.
Accessing our inner dark feminine energy is vehicle through which we may transform ourselves from being a victim, to the divine alchemist.
So why do so many of us repress our dark feminine energy?
Because society tells us to.
For many years, our patriarchal society shamed females who took up too much space & shared their opinions in a confident, clear and direct way. If they were not agreeable, sweet and polite, they were scolded. If they were not conservative or ‘well behaved’, they were criticised. If they did not smile enough or laugh at a man’s bad joke, they were reproached. The Patriarch understood and feared the incredible power of the feminine and so in an effort to ‘tame’ and domesticate women to have more control over them, they revoked all of their rights and pushed women into the ‘housewife’ role where they were expected to do nothing but stay at home, look after the children, tend to their husbands needs and abandon their dark feminine energy and inner wild woman.
The affects of this are still widely present in society today and many woman are still conditioned to live up to the ideals of what the patriarch deemed a good woman to be, while a lot of men still view women in the same way and therefore, continue to unconsciously (or for some, consciously) suppress the feminine and push her into the submissive ‘good girl’ box.
But I’ll tell you something.
I am no longer interested
in being soft, submissive & sweet
compliant, quiet and coy,
modest, mild & meek,
pleasant & pliable.
Agreeable,
cooperative,
discreet.
Not now that I have rejected the outdated ideals of the Patriarch and said goodbye to my inner good girl, renouncing my people pleasing tendencies in favour of my dark feminine energy and ultimately, reclaiming my power. The rise of the feminine is upon us and I am so glad that I get to be a part of it.
Trusting & surrendering to the process of life always.
Gem xx