REBIRTH

REBIRTH; a period of new life, growth, or activity; a revival...

You might have noticed some changes around here recently.
Little things here and there. My Instagram name...my bio...a shift in my content...

All of it reflects the inner changes I have been experiencing as a result of the work I have been doing; integrating my Dark Feminine energy. Healing my Inner Child. Confronting my Shadows. & working through my Generational Trauma.

To say that the last few months have been transformational would be an understatement.

& last Tuesday, sometime in the late afternoon, a realization struck me.

It is time to step over the threshold.

‘Might fuck around and wipe my whole Instagram feed,’ I thought to myself as I sat there, processing the realisation. 

I knew that it was my Higher Self communicating very clearly to me what needed to be done in order to close the current chapter of my life that I was still sitting in. My healing chapter. My ‘desperately trying to figure it all out’ chapter. The chapter in which I had dedicated myself wholeheartedly to ‘finding myself’ and remembering why the heck I was here on Earth. 

It was because I was still stuck in this chapter that I was experiencing so much resistance to the things I wanted most - why I was procrastinating launching my business, showing up as the woman I envisioned myself being, getting my website up and running and taking action towards the projects I wanted to deliver to the world...

And what I realised was that in order to access this next level of myself that was able to do all of that – I had to let her go.

The younger version of me.

The party girl. The irresponsible girl who had nothing to worry about but herself. The disempowered ‘good girl’. The girl who was desperate to be seen. The girl who did things for the approval of others. The girl who was stuck playing out generational curses. The girl whose only source of nourishment was sought externally. The girl who felt comfortable playing small. The girl who was operating out of survival mode. The girl who didn’t know any better. The wounded girl who was stuck in her immature feminine energy.

So the next morning I began the process of wiping the slate clean, because doing so would provide the blank canvas I required to rebirth myself from. As I scrolled through my Instagram feed tears began to well in my eyes. An overwhelming feeling of gratitude came over me as I looked at the photos of my younger self and acknowledged all that she had overcome to get me to where I am today. I didn’t realise how simultaneously elating and painful it would be. Hadn’t expected the resistance I would feel as I archived each post, hiding her from the world. But I knew that it had to be done. That it was time to say goodbye.

Because the longer I stayed connected and associated with my younger self and clung to the life raft that was my healing journey, the more resistance I would continue to feel towards stepping into my next version. Because this younger version was subconsciously convincing me that I wasn’t smart enough and didn’t know enough to be able to run a successful business so that I would continue to play small and stay in my comfort zone, in order for her to keep me ’safe.’

So once again, I stepped into the fire. Because unlike my dark feminine, my shadow and my inner child, my younger self couldn’t be integrated – she needed to be cremated. I called on the alchemical power of my Dark Feminine energy to burn her away, sending her back to the Universe with the utmost gratitude and unconditional love. And in the process, alchemized all of her pain and suffering into knowledge and wisdom.

As I sat there, looking at my empty feed...I reflected on all of the little changes that I had experienced over the past three years and had the inner knowing that this was it. This was the rise out of the ashes that I had tricked myself into thinking had happened multiple times since the start of my healing journey.

I had falsely believed many times in the past few years that I had ‘stepped into my highest self’. But I recognised in that moment that I wasn’t actually stepping into her at all...I was just experiencing moments of that future version of me, little glimpses of my fully embodied, integrated, empowered self.

So how did I know that this time it was happening for real and I wasn’t going to slide straight back into my old ways in a few days?

Because it felt different. And I was finally doing the things that I’d known I’d needed to do for a long time, but hadn’t had the courage to do.

My natural state of being had changed. I was embodying the woman I wanted to show up as majority of the time. The communication channels between me and my intuition/higher self were loud and clear. I was easily resisting the things I knew no longer served me and taking aligned action had become almost effortless. Even the way I dressed most of the time had changed.

I had naturally progressed from the immature feminine into maturity, into my womanhood. The caterpillar had transformed into the butterfly.

So allow me to re-introduce myself.

My name is Gemma.

VISIONARY – CREATIVE - GUIDE

A multi-dimensional being that is no longer committed to my healing, but rather my expansion, who is comfortable taking up space, expressing my truth and sitting in my most radiant, abundant, confident, wildly successful self.

Everything I do now is for myself – no one else. And I trust that I will magnetise all that I desire by being completely, fully 100% devoted to ME. Which, consequently, allows me to be in service to others. I do not need to be anything for anyone else. And I do not need to do anything to get what I want, other than embody my BEAUTIFUL, MAGNETIC, MAGICAL, POTENT, DIVINE FEMININE ENERGY.

What a fucking powerhouse.

Trusting in and surrendering to the process of life always, Gem xx